(_To himself._) Pleasant woman
this! But I don't care--I _will_ stay and see this out; it's too late to go
in to the CARTOUCHES now, and I won't leave MARJORY till----(_Aloud._)
Miss SEATON--MARJORY--I'm in a most awfully difficult position--_do_ let me
tell you about it!

_Miss Seaton_ (_penitently_). Oh, Douglas, I--I _know_--I heard.... I'm so
sorry--I mean, I'm so _glad_! Please forgive me for treating you as I did!

_Lord Strath._ You _did_ let me have it pretty straight, didn't you,
MARJORY? But, of course, you thought me am impudent cad for calmly coming
in to dinner uninvited like this--and no wonder!

_Miss Seaton_ (_to herself_). He doesn't know the _worst_--and he shan't,
if I can help it! (_Aloud._) It doesn't matter _what_ I thought--I--I don't
think it now. And--and--do tell me all you can about yourself!

[_They converse with recovered confidence._

_Uncle Gab._ (_to himself_). For all the notice that stuck-up young swell
takes of me, I might be a block of wood! I'll _make_ him listen to me.
(_Aloud._) Ahem! My Lord, I've just been telling my niece here the latest
scandal in high-life. I daresay your Lordship has heard of that titled but
brainless young profligate, the Marquis of MANX?

_Lord Strath._ MANX? Oh, yes--know him well--sort of relation of mine.
Never heard a word _against_ him, though!

_Uncle Gab._ (_in confusion_). Oh, I--I beg your Lordship's pardon--I
wasn't aware. No doubt I got the name wrong.

[Illustration: "Let me advise you to be very _careful_."]

_Lord Strath._ Ah--or the facts. Great mistake to repeat these
things--don't you think? Generally lies.

[_He resumes his conversation with_ Miss S.

_Uncle Gab._ (_nettled_). It's all very well for you to stand up for your
order, my Lord; but it's right I should tell you that the Country doesn't
mean to tolerate that den of thieves and land-grabbers--I need hardly say I
refer to the House of Lords--_much_ longer! We're determined to sweep them
from the face of the earth. I say so, as the--ah--mouthpiece of a large and
influential majority of earnest and enlightened Englishmen!

_Lord Strath._ (_to himself_). Fancy the mouthpiece has had quite enough
champagne! (_Aloud._) My dear Sir, you can begin sweeping to-morrow, so far
as I am concerned. I'm no politician.

_Uncle Gab._ (_warming_). No politician! And yet you sit in the Upper House
as one of our hereditary legislators, obstructing the will of the People!
Do you mean to tell me there's no incongruity in that!

[_Consternation among the company._

_Lord Strath._ A good deal, I daresay, if I sat there--only I
don't--haven't had the honour of being elected at present.

_Mrs. Tid._ (_hastily_). He means he--he has other things to do,
Uncle--don't excite yourself so! (_To Lord S. in a whisper._) You're only
_exposing_ yourself by talking of what you know nothing about. Surely you
know that Peers _aren't_ elected!

_Lord Strath._ I was under the impression they were--in Scotland; but it's
not worth arguing about.

_Uncle Gab._ You're evading the point, my Lord. I'm trying to put plain
sense----

_Lord Strath._ (_wearily_). I know--but--er--_why_ try? Wouldn't plain
nonsense be rather more amusing--at dinner, don't you know?

_Uncle Gab._ (_stormily_). Don't think you're going to ride roughshod over
_me_, my Lord! If you think yourself above your company----

_Lord Strath._ I assure you I've no idea what I've said or done to offend
you, Sir. It was perfectly unintentional on my part.

_Uncle Gab._ (_relaxing_). In that case, my Lord, no further apology is
needed. I--ah--accept the olive-branch!

_Lord Strath._ By all means--if I may trouble you for the olives.

_Uncle Gab._ (_effusively_). With all the pleasure in life, my Lord. And,
without withdrawing in any sort or kind from any of my general opinions, I
think I express the sentiment of all present when I say how deeply we feel
the honour----

_Lord